You have a Costco-sized tub of white goo generically labeled "FAT" sitting in your fridge, don't you? I sure do, and precisely for the reason depicted above: to haphazardly throw onto healthful, low-fat crap to erase the bitter aftertaste of unnecessary vitamins and minerals. It's less expensive to add your own glob of FAT to your food than to have it baked in by some impersonal giant agri-business. It tastes better, too, and as a bonus makes me foam like a rabid dog.
And if Tina the Cat's owner employs Heathcliff's money-saving tips then it's a sure bet the feline isn't acting, she's having a myocardial infarction.
